Twins or Triplets?

I'm happy to report that John and Andrew are still doing exceptionally well. The little guys are still technically only 32.5 weeks old so they've got a lot of developing to do, but they're right on track. The boys continue to take their feedings through their feeding tubes, and both occasionally spit-up like most babies. They're receiving their 32 and 40 mL over an hour timespan to help them digest everything so they can continue to gain weight. John likes to suck on his pacifier during feedings which should help make the transition to bottles a little easier. Andrew typically likes to sleep through his feedings, but he always looks happy & content.

John and Andrew both still have occasional bradys - which I'm not sure if I explained earlier. "Brady" is short for bradycardia, which is a quick dip in heartrate. The babies' normal heart rate is somewhere between 120-160 beats per minute, so a brady is when they drop to somewhere around 70 beats. Bradys are common in preemies and are usually just caused by immature neurological systems. They usually occur along with spells of apnea, when the babies stop breathing. Both are conditions that they will outgrow as they mature, or they may require some treatment with caffeine which is used as a stimulant. Both boys seem to get over their bradys on their own or with the occasional pat on the back.

One other issue that I've been struggling with is what to call Andrew and John. I'm trying to get in the habit of calling them by name, but do refer to them quite a bit as "the boys". For the first week or so, I would cringe and my heart would ache every time someone referred to them as "twins". In my mind, they will always be triplets. It was tough any time a doctor or nurse called them Baby A and Baby B because Baby B is Nathan, and John was and always will be Baby C. I would replay scenarios in my head like - "how do I respond if someone in the grocery check-out line asks me if they're twins?"

As the wounds on my heart have started healing, I've gradually become more used to hearing them called twins. I won't be offended if that's how you refer to them, even though they will always be triplets to us. They'll grow up knowing that each of them is unique and special, but while there are only two here with us, they are each one of three.

During the pregnancy I had ordered triplet t-shirts for Ryan and I to wear in the hospital. It took me a while to come to this point, but we finally were able to wear them confidently. It's not quite like I imagined it, but we were finally able to take the first pictures with our boys in our t-shirts.